This Is a Rant--Do Not Read if You Are My Wife

Music: My Chemical Romance, "Thank You For the Venom"

I can tell when she's pissed off, but sometimes you just gotta tell it like it is

I have almost no thought process today. The wife and I spent the morning waiting for our car to get serviced. Then we checked out new vehicles, as we plan on buying a new vehicle in the next six to eight months. Cars are expensive.

We are also in the embryonic stages of looking at houses. My mom told me about a program that gives a $5500 interest free loan to be used as a downpayment on a house for people who "qualify." First, we should qualify because we are undoubtedly poor. I just checked out what my student loan payments will look like, and I think they'll be like a grand. Second, we don't make much money right now. We will soon, but we don't right now.

So, houses. I tell her that this a great opportunity to actually buy a house since it will be otherwise very difficult for us to earn enough for a downpayment. I say it could pay for the entire downpayment if we buy a house in the $100 to $120 thousand range. She gets that I-sincerely-doubt-it-and-you look on her face. She says, "I don't think we will find a house for $100,000." I say that almost every thing I've looked at has been in the 115 to 125k range. She says, "In an area we want to live?" YES! OF COURSE! I explain that we don't have a lot of money. I'm not sure how many more times I can explain that, or how I can clarify the fact. We don't have money. We (I) have a tremendous amount of debt. She usually explains that away by saying because it's student loan debt, it is "good debt," as compared to "bad debt" like credit cards. I agree, but the payments will still be HUGE!

She does this every time we make a major decision. The wedding. Buying a car. Going on vacation. Nothing seems to be good enough, at least initially. Eventually she may warm up to the idea, but initially she is very skeptical that it will be sufficient for her standards. And to be honest, it fucking pisses me off. You don't go straight from a fucking two-bedroom pisshole in subsidized student housing to a beautiful house built circa 2003 with brand-fucking-new appliances. That's just not how it works. If she wanted more, then she should've married someone with more money or less debt or both. I'm sure they are out there. If she feels like she is shut out of the decision making, then she is more than welcome to be more involved. I would hope she has a tremendous impact on which house we choose. However, even if she made the decision herself, that doesn't all of a sudden change the budget. I'm not making this up: we have a limited amount of funds, and there is a big fucking difference between $120,000 and $150,000. Like $30,000 difference, and several hundred dollars per month. It's not like I can say, "We only have enough money a cheap-ass house." Then she says, "I want a better house." And I can say, "Okay, now that I know that, I'll just think really hard about it until about 40 grand just appears in my lap." We can afford what we can afford.


A Miscellaneous Thought

If someone asked me what my least favorite thing about any girl I was dating, I would answer, "Any past and future sexual partners." That would always be the answer.